Congruence

Did you know that what people say, and what they really mean, is two different things?

Some female examples:

"I might see you on the weekend"
"I really don't want to meet up with you, but i don't want to be rude, so it's easier just to say i might see you on the weekend."

"Yes i'm fine"
"I'm not fine and i really wish somebody would ask me about it and give me some attention"

Some Male examples

"No, she's not my type"
"I would but i wouldn't tell anybody about it!"

Male: "I'll see if i can get it done by monday"
"I really am not interested in doing that but i know i'm going to have to finish it because i agreed to do it."

When what you say and what you mean are two different things, this is know as incongruence. Incongruence is detected in the subcomunications (voice tonality, body language etc.)


Ben Lowrey